Advice | How Do I Tame My Temper?
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The Spin is a modern take on the classic advice column. Get out of your head and take mine for a spin. New posts every Friday!
Have you ever been so angry that you just exploded? We see it daily with flagitious flight passengers and obscene encounters caught on camera just as their inner Hulk rises to the surface. For the most part, we all watch in disbelief, and at times even disgust, as tempers swelter to an unruly degree, assuming that we are above the fray when it comes to emotional outbursts. In reality, our frustrations are much closer to flaring up than we care to admit. That’s why I’m grateful for this week’s submission and the opportunity to talk about taming our tempers.
Submission:
Response:
I’ll start by saying that anger is a necessary emotion. It is equally beneficial to our development as happiness, surprise, sadness, and the sentiments in our Rolodex of feelings. Because we’ve been socially programmed to suppress our anger, moments of hyper-aggression, like those mentioned by our friend, can be misunderstood as an emotional volcano when they are actually more of a gas leak.
Volcanos have a purpose. They are monstrous but natural releases of pressure that eventually fertilize the earth around them with dense nutrients. An eruption rarely occurs without warning, sometimes showing signs days, weeks, or years in advance, but they are ultimately essential to the planet’s health and the circle of life.
Conversely, a gas leak is never purposeful. It’s a case of broken equipment and, tragically, the equipment holding lethal toxins. This situation sounds like a gas leak. Your greatest power in healing from these frenzies is identifying the difference for yourself and taking ownership of your triggers to address them appropriately.
In an immediate sense, no one deserves to be verbally or physically accosted, and while I’m not in the business of break-ups, it’s…
